🚀 Air Force to Buy Tesla Cybertrucks… Just to Blow Them Up The U.S. Military Preps for a Cyberpunk Future by Targeting Elon’s Stainless Steel Beasts By Illphated | August 8, 2025
When Elon Musk said the Cybertruck was “bulletproof,” he probably didn’t mean against an Air Force missile barrage. But Uncle Sam’s not taking any chances.
According to recently released U.S. government documents, the United States Air Force has its eyes on two brand-new Tesla Cybertrucks—not for transport, not for show, but for target practice. Yes, you read that right. The Pentagon wants to blast these brutalist EV beasts to pieces at the White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico.
Why?
Because in a future where war looks more like Blade Runner than Black Hawk Down, the military believes that enemy combatants may adopt Cybertrucks for their own operations. And before that happens, the U.S. wants to see exactly how these angular, stainless steel tanks hold up under fire.
🎯 Training for the Real-World Warzone In a source justification document (with parts conveniently redacted), the Air Force made it clear:
“It is likely the type of vehicles used by the enemy may transition to Tesla Cybertrucks as they have been found not to receive the normal extent of damage expected upon major impact.”
Translation? These trucks might tank a few hits, and the military needs to know how to neutralize them efficiently.
The tests will involve live fire training, with the goal of simulating real-world battle conditions. All Cybertrucks must include glass, mirrors, tires, and the signature exoskeleton—though thankfully for Tesla’s stockholders, the trucks don’t have to run. They just need to roll into their final stand before being obliterated.
🤖 From Meme Truck to Military Threat? This move follows a weirdly believable trajectory. When the Cybertruck first debuted in 2019 with its failed “bulletproof glass” demo, the internet laughed. But since then, videos have shown the truck deflecting small arms fire, and it’s even been spotted in war zones.
In fact, one of the most viral images to emerge in the last year featured a Cybertruck mounted with a machine gun turret, allegedly owned by Chechen warlord Ramzan Kadyrov. The dystopian future? It’s already here—and it’s rolling on 35-inch all-terrain tires.
🚨 Not Just Cybertrucks The Air Force isn’t just targeting Tesla. Their full shopping list includes:
5 SUVs
3 Bongo trucks
5 standard pickups
18 sedans
2 Cybertrucks (the only vehicles specified by brand and model)
All 33 vehicles will be delivered to WSMR, the legendary missile range where hardware goes to die… explosively.
🧠 Illphated Analysis: Why This Matters This isn’t just some wasteful Pentagon spending meme. This is the military adapting to asymmetric threats—where enemy fighters, cartels, or rogue states could exploit civilian tech with armored mods and battlefield hacks.
Tesla’s Cybertruck, once dismissed as a Silicon Valley fever dream, is now officially being studied as a potential combat vehicle.
The intersection of civilian innovation and military conflict is blurring fast. If the battlefield of the 2030s features AI drones, electric tanks, and viral propaganda, then Cybertrucks are a logical step in the arms race.
And the U.S. Air Force is already aiming down its sights.
Welcome to the war on wheels. This is the new American frontier. This is illphated.com.
