🚀 Air Force to Buy Tesla Cybertrucks… Just to Blow Them Up The U.S. Military Preps for a Cyberpunk Future by Targeting Elon’s Stainless Steel Beasts By Illphated | August 8, 2025
When Elon Musk said the Cybertruck was “bulletproof,” he probably didn’t mean against an Air Force missile barrage. But Uncle Sam’s not taking any chances.
According to recently released U.S. government documents, the United States Air Force has its eyes on two brand-new Tesla Cybertrucks—not for transport, not for show, but for target practice. Yes, you read that right. The Pentagon wants to blast these brutalist EV beasts to pieces at the White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico.
Why?
Because in a future where war looks more like Blade Runner than Black Hawk Down, the military believes that enemy combatants may adopt Cybertrucks for their own operations. And before that happens, the U.S. wants to see exactly how these angular, stainless steel tanks hold up under fire.
🎯 Training for the Real-World Warzone In a source justification document (with parts conveniently redacted), the Air Force made it clear:
“It is likely the type of vehicles used by the enemy may transition to Tesla Cybertrucks as they have been found not to receive the normal extent of damage expected upon major impact.”
Translation? These trucks might tank a few hits, and the military needs to know how to neutralize them efficiently.
The tests will involve live fire training, with the goal of simulating real-world battle conditions. All Cybertrucks must include glass, mirrors, tires, and the signature exoskeleton—though thankfully for Tesla’s stockholders, the trucks don’t have to run. They just need to roll into their final stand before being obliterated.
🤖 From Meme Truck to Military Threat? This move follows a weirdly believable trajectory. When the Cybertruck first debuted in 2019 with its failed “bulletproof glass” demo, the internet laughed. But since then, videos have shown the truck deflecting small arms fire, and it’s even been spotted in war zones.
In fact, one of the most viral images to emerge in the last year featured a Cybertruck mounted with a machine gun turret, allegedly owned by Chechen warlord Ramzan Kadyrov. The dystopian future? It’s already here—and it’s rolling on 35-inch all-terrain tires.
🚨 Not Just Cybertrucks The Air Force isn’t just targeting Tesla. Their full shopping list includes:
5 SUVs
3 Bongo trucks
5 standard pickups
18 sedans
2 Cybertrucks (the only vehicles specified by brand and model)
All 33 vehicles will be delivered to WSMR, the legendary missile range where hardware goes to die… explosively.
🧠 Illphated Analysis: Why This Matters This isn’t just some wasteful Pentagon spending meme. This is the military adapting to asymmetric threats—where enemy fighters, cartels, or rogue states could exploit civilian tech with armored mods and battlefield hacks.
Tesla’s Cybertruck, once dismissed as a Silicon Valley fever dream, is now officially being studied as a potential combat vehicle.
The intersection of civilian innovation and military conflict is blurring fast. If the battlefield of the 2030s features AI drones, electric tanks, and viral propaganda, then Cybertrucks are a logical step in the arms race.
And the U.S. Air Force is already aiming down its sights.
Welcome to the war on wheels. This is the new American frontier. This is illphated.com.
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L
ACTUALLY…
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Copium
Hopium
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LETS GOOOOO
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WE LOVE YOU
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chat pls
WOOOOOO
SO CLEAN
THIS GUY
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YOOOO
NA AIM
EU MECHANICS
TRY HARDER
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STOP THE COUNT
ONE OF US
GET HIM OUT
THIS GUY STINKS
DELETE THE VOD
RAID INCOMING
SHOOSH
WE BACK
IT’S TIME
EZ DUB
NO SHOT
IMAGINE
ACTUAL NPC
YOU FELL OFF
HE FELL OFF
STILL GOT IT
BANGER STREAM
CHILL VIBES
FARMING VIEWERS
TO THE MOON
REAL ONES KNOW
HE’S HIM
SHE’S HER
CLUTCH OR KICK
PRESS F
HOLD THIS L
ACTUAL GOAT
W GOAT
L STREAMER
SNIPE HIM
GIVEAWAY WHEN
MODS?
MODS HELP
THIS CHAT MOVES
SLOW MODE WHEN
BAN HIM
UNBAN HIM
WHO ASKED
ACTUALLY TRUE
NO CAP
STRAIGHT FACTS
BASED
CRINGE
CAMPER
RUSH B
1V9
FF16
SKILL ISSUE
NPC DIALOGUE
REPORTED
TOXIC
WE MOVE
I CAN’T BREATHE
CRACKED
MAX WOKE
NERF THIS
BRO WHAT
WHY THO
AGANE??
DONO WALL
READ CHAT
LOOK AT CHAT
TOUCH GRASS
RATIO + L
TO THE GULAG
LOST FULL
EGO CHECKED
TOP G
L TAKE
W TAKE
GGS ONLY
STREAM SNIPED
BUFFED
SHROUD WHO
PRO MOVES
SO SCUFFED
SCAMMED
HARD STUCK
ELO HELL
GAMER FUEL
SUS
TOS
No shot
Smurf alert
L take
No audio??
Content farmed
This guy again
We back boys
Scuffed gameplay
Lag switch??
Camera shake W
One more pls
Stuck in Bronze
0/10 gameplay
100% winrate
Boomer moment
Check scoreboard
Chat too fast
Still waiting
Donowall
Try alt+F4
He’s washed
Frame perfect
We vibin
Blame ping
That’s bait
Copium levels rising
Streamer brain
Reverse sweep
Ping check
Streamer moment
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Solo Q pain
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REAL ONES ONLY
Fix audio
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Alt+F4 works
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Literally me
Check VOD
Let him cook
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We do a little trolling
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Awkward silence
Where mods at
This game rigged
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One job
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He’s cracked
Press 1 if real
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WHY ME
W streamer
That ain’t it
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Speedrun PB?
No cap fr
Meta slave
Streamer POV
He’s molding
Cringe take
Don’t @ me
Wombo combo
NA logic
GET GOOD
Win trading
POGGERS
Chat frozen?
He trolling
GG no re
Low elo vibes
Griefer alert
We stay winning
Final boss energy
Rage quit
Jebaited
Who’s smurfing
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EZ farming
Daily content king
Reset pls
Play it again
He threw
High elo play
He’s not that guy
Bet
Sweaty lobby
Diffed
This guy again
Stream crashed
Queue dodger
Bug exploit?
What rank are you?
Lag switch??
Bot diff
Alt tabbed
Ping check
Check scoreboard
We vibin
Throwing for content
Micro lag
Clutch or kick
RNG gods
Gulag time
Rank anxiety
Degen hours
Meta slave
Buff needed
MIA bot lane
OP
Hard griefed
0/10 gameplay
Scuffed gameplay
Where’s the comms?
Meme strats
No cooldowns
Sweat fest
1 HP clutch
Clout farming
Trash talk
Out of pocket
No audio??
That ain’t it
No recoil
Clown fiesta
One more pls
NPC energy
Diffed
Revive me bro
Stunlocked
Malder
NT
Content farmed
Mental boomed
No hit reg
Backseat gaming
Try alt+F4
Hard stuck
No shot
Ranked demons
Outplayed
FPS cap
Skill diff
Eco round
Frame perfect
Juked him
Force Q
We back boys
1v9 angle
Proximity chat
Donowall
Queue sniped
Controller diff
He’s washed
Stream sniper
Pre nerf diff
Solo Q pain
Pog
Sweaty lobby
K
Map awareness??
Chat too fast
SUS
EZ clap
Camped again
No HUD run
Smurf alert
Streamer luck
5 stack menace
Boomer moment
AFK check
This lobby lol
WTF was that?
Patch dropped
Skill issue
Still waiting
Camera shake W
No diff
TOS
GAMER FUEL
Turbo int
Insta lock
ELO HELL
Nerf pls
Play of the game
Cursed RNG
Full send
100% winrate
Whiffed again
Giga chad
Queue hell
Out macro’d
Ratio
Lo-fi queue
Stuck in Bronze
Stat padding
Audio bug
Hard carry
Skill capped
Keyboard warrior
Speedrun strat
Uninstall pls
Send it
L take
High ping moment
Diff check
Tilted
GGEZ
FPS drop
Where we dropping?
EZ dub
Rank reset pain
Ping spikes again
Cracked outta his mind
Full squad wipe
Rez incoming
Drop shot meta
Who queued this?
Streamer POV
Aim labs paying off
No comms?
Diff every time
Outbrained
That’s unlucky
He’s diffy
Send backup
Didn’t ask
Top frag moment
Low elo energy
Missed timing
Hard stuck silver
FPS gods watching
Choked it
Late rotate
Reset mental
Muted vibes
Mic scuffed
Wrong bind
Shot caller diff
Running it down
Solo queue curse
This is peak
Go next
Glitched again
Throw comp
Let him cook
Mic delay?
Rank tanked
Skill gap
In the blender
Alt account moment
Double peeked
Queue again?
Let’s run it
Any healers?
Tactical crouch
Wall bang king
Map diff
This team bro
FPS brain
1v1 me
No utility
Melee only?
Full push!
Wall hacks?
Dead game?
What patch is this?
Clutch god
Clutch or throw
You’re trolling
Let’s vibe
Broken hitbox
Ult ready
Flash out!
Rotate now
Smoke mid
Stack B
GG no re
Mid diff
Baited hard
They flanked
Check corners
Sound cues
Plant the spike
Crossfire set
Trade kills
He’s cracked
Late peek
Wall play
Easy reads
Fast rotate
Stacked site
Timing diff
Dry peeked
Let’s eco
Force buy round
Pistol round win
Anchor site
Play retake
Save guns
Swing wide
Nade kill
Out aimed
Pop off king
Body shot Andy
ADS warrior
Speedy rotate
Site secured
Choke artist
Hit your shots
Missed window
Hard peeked
Solo anchor
5-man rush
Jiggle peek
Entry frag
Lurk diff
Sage diff
Whiff fiesta
Loadout scuffed
Anti-eco
Eco fragging
He baited us
Broken crosshair
Team diff
One tapped
No clutch gene
Ghost comms
Fast drop
Pre-aim demon
Where we dropping?
EZ dub
Rank reset pain
Ping spikes again
Cracked outta his mind
Full squad wipe
Rez incoming
Drop shot meta
Who queued this?
Streamer POV
Aim labs paying off
No comms?
Diff every time
Outbrained
That’s unlucky
He’s diffy
Send backup
Didn’t ask
Top frag moment
Low elo energy
Missed timing
Hard stuck silver
FPS gods watching
Choked it
Late rotate
Reset mental
Muted vibes
Mic scuffed
Wrong bind
Shot caller diff
Running it down
Solo queue curse
This is peak
Go next
Glitched again
Throw comp
Let him cook
Mic delay?
Rank tanked
Skill gap
In the blender
Alt account moment
Double peeked
Queue again?
Let’s run it
Any healers?
Tactical crouch
Wall bang king
Map diff
This team bro
FPS brain
1v1 me
No utility
Melee only?
Full push!
Wall hacks?
Dead game?
What patch is this?
ResidentSleeper
TriHard
4Head
CorgiDerp
DogFace
BloodTrail
CoolCat
HeyGuys
KappaRoss
KappaClaus
KappaPride
BatChest
BCWarrior
BrainSlug
BrokeBack
ANELE
GayPride
AsianGlow
BlackLivesMatter
PogChamp
LUL
FeelsBadMan
FeelsGoodMan
BibleThump
NotLikeThis
Kreygasm
WutFace
FailFish
Keepo
MrDestructoid
SMOrc
EleGiggle
PJSalt
SwiftRage
DansGame
Jebaited
SeemsGood
VoHiYo
FrankerZ
SourPls
PartyTime
PowerUpR
PowerUpL
PunchTrees
GivePLZ
TakeNRG
BabyRage
D:
OhMyDog
PanicBasket
PermaSmug
TriDance
KKomrade
CatJam
StinkyCheese
Clap
PogU
monkaS
monkaW
monkaHmm
PepeHands
PepeLaugh
Pepega
widepeepoHappy
widepeepoSad
Sadge
Madge
YEP
NOPERS
EZ
AYAYA
BOOBA
OMEGALUL
HYPERS
PauseChamp
WeirdChamp
GachiHYPER
GachiBASS
gachiGASM
PogBones
PagMan
5Head
3Head
AYAYASmile
RIPBozo
KEKW
KEKWait
Shungite
TROLL
Comfy
PeepoClap
PeepoLeave
PeepoHappy
PeepoSad
PeepoShy
PeepoGiggles
PeepoPog
PeepoThink
PepeDS
PepeD
PeepoRun
PeepoCry
PeepoFinger
SUS
AmongUs
SatchBag
RaccAttack
CowJAM
MmmHmm
PepeJam
PoroSad
PoroHappy
SleepyCowboy
TexasPog
CyberYEEHAW
RanchDance
LoneStarClap
DustySmile
PixelHowdy
404Brain
BootsOff
CactusCry
QuantumYEP
NeonSaloon
LaggedOut
PogRustler
WhiskeyWave
SilentGiddy
BanditEZ
DesertJam
AIHowdy
GlitchSaddle
TurboTeeth
RiotRide
EchoLaugh
TumbleLOL
BroncoBlast
SnackAttack
NeonNom
BoredSheriff
OverheatLOL
ChillBison
RebootPls
CowboyBuffering
CosmoClap
RAMRage
ByteDance
CowpokeCry
CorralCool
404Smile
YallHyped
RustyLUL
QuantumPepe
NeonTrail
HeatwavePog
PixelPanic
DataDust
HardDriveEZ
SaloonSleep
CodeCowboy
HorseBuffer
BinaryBro
HowdyHack
BootLoop
SnackSad
FuzzyWired
RAMChuckles
LoopLaugh
SaddleCharge
SteamHorse
RoboRustler
LaserLasso
DebugDance
BinaryBless
QuantumBroke
DustDevilGG
CacheCrash
PonyPause
TurboSad
VoltageVibes
YallWeird
CyberClap
DesertPing
BitBrained
UploadCry
OverclockKEK
CactusComfy
FreezeFrame
CowpokeWTF
NeonNope
404Hope
SnackPog
MoonshineYEP
SpurSpin
PlasmaHowdy
RektRanch
LoopedOut
HorseJam
RAMJammed
RetroRider
GlitchCow
LaggedSheriff
PogProgram
VaporWagon
BootsBugged
CowboyGlitch
InfiniteYEE
SiliconSaddle
DustyUpload
OutlawKEK
BreakPoint
CowboyChill
AFKBronco
RustReset
LoneStarLOL
BandwidthBroke
PixelPardner
UltraRide
RAMRescue
PlsStop
LETSGO
NOOO
YAY
HUH
WTF
GGWP